Not everybody wants to smile at the camera, but if you’re the type of person who likes to capture a smile on a person’s face, then the Artificial Smile camera is what you’re looking for. Designed by two designers from the University of the Arts, Berlin, the camera would recognize frowns and replace them with an artificial smile, making it look like the person is actually smiling. Of course, if your eyes are blazing with anger or something, we doubt that the camera can do much for that, but as they say “for everything else, there’s Photoshop”, right?

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In the world of technology, drama is a valuable commodity. Disruptive change may happen in the minutiae of software code or the gradual execution of a business plan, but we see its effects in the dramatic narratives of companies rising and falling, or getting locked in combat with each other. Which is why the rivalry between Google and Apple is such a compelling story.

It’s so tempting to get drawn into the ego battles between Steve Jobs and the Google triumvirate while placing bets on who will win that it’s easy to forget a deeper truth about this rivalry: Google and Apple need each other.

They both have a deep desire to stake out claims on the mobile web, but the mobile web is in a nascent stage. In order to develop, it needs to have both rigid structure and a sometimes reckless creativity. Structure is necessary to provide a strong foundation and a set of standards everyone can understand. And creativity is essential to bringing the innovative potential of the mobile web into full bloom.

This dichotomy was present when the Internet began to develop in the early 90s. Many people who came online then did so through America Online’s walled gardens, a safe little enclave where consumers and content providers alike could create the rules of a new medium. Then the web itself took off and sites like Yahoo and GeoCities offered a much more creative environment to explore what else could be done.

Now it’s happening again, only with Apple and Google. Apple’s stern and unforgiving approach to the iPhone offers the structure this new medium needs to succeed. Cupertino’s control-freak tendencies stretch from enforcing adherence to ever-changing app guidelines to banishing plastic screen protectors from its retail stores.

Google’s approach is nearly the opposite, much more open and free-wheeling. Its Android OS, based on the Linux kernel, has so many versions available the company is struggling to consolidate them. The Android Market is such an unregulated affair that it’s hard for anyone to count the number of apps on sale.

Google’s culture has built into it a tolerance for the failures that come with creative experiments. Its 70-20-10 rule seems rooted on that spirit of tolerance — how many companies require employees to spend time on something that may never fly? — and Google has floated so many failed ideas it’s hard to keep track of them all. Apple, by contrast, starts with an instinctive idea of how consumers will experience its products and fits everything, even the ecosystem of apps that extends beyond its corporate walls, into making it work.

It’s in the tension between these two companies and their respective cultures that the mobile web is being forged. But as America Online found out, the walls eventually come down as consumers grow more comfortable with the new medium and desert the walled garden. That would suggest the balance will tip in favor of Google.

But I would be surprised if Apple isn’t anticipating this evolution. Right now, iPhone owners are experiencing the mobile web through the 150,000 or so apps it offers through the App Store. But Apple has also backed HTML5, which allows a smartphone browser to have rich app-like features without requiring any new software to be downloaded. Just as people stopped downloading AOL’s software and switched to browsers, we may well abandon most of the apps on our phones today.

Both companies will continue to play a major role on the mobile web, but I doubt either will ever gain the upper hand. This dramatic tension between Apple and Google may be around for a long time. So executives at both might as well get used to it.

Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

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Review The PS3 Slim sees Sony hoping to invigorate sales of the Playstation 3 with a lighter and much less expensive model. No doubt the company views this as a chance to redeem the brand before it starts to look like a fat old aunt in the console war. For this redemption to take place we would need to see some serious new features go into the rebirth of this gaming console....

This save game [user mode] exploit you’re about to watch is as real as it gets… I’ve been fortunate enough to try a few different exploits and I can tell you they’re no doubt legit. None however, as far as I know, have led to kernel mode access, which means no chance for [...]

Palm was delivered harsh criticism today as analysts downgraded the company following its poor fiscal performance. Canaccord Adams' Peter Misek maintained a "sell" opinion but called for a price target of $0 as he expected the company's situation would only get worse. He predicted a vicious circle that would see carriers and part producers back out with doubts about Palm's ability to stay in business, hurting its ability to sell devices even more....

There have been plenty of efforts to try to curb "cyberbullying," often through laws that try to make it illegal to be a jerk. Unfortunately, the concept of cyberbullying is so vague that this creates tremendous problems and unintended consequences. And, on the whole, it seemed unlikely that any such law could withstand First Amendment scrutiny. However, it appears that the First Amendment isn't always the First Amendment we thought it was.

A California appeals court has ruled that cyberbullying threats are not protected free speech. Now, you can understand why people might like this conceptually. No one likes a bully. But making it against the law to bully is incredibly risky, and almost certainly leads to a very different kind of bullying.

In this particular case, a kid set up a website about himself, and his fellow students posted comments mocking him. It was cruel, though you would think that the simple response would be to take down those comments. Instead, the family went to the police -- who said that the comments "did not meet the criteria for criminal prosecution and were protected speech." The family followed by suing six students and their parents for hate crimes, defamation and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

Now, there's no doubt at all that the comments were over the line and incredibly mean. However, it looks like there was a perfectly reasonable process outside of the courts to handle this. Apparently, the father of one kid who made some of the worst comments made his son apologize, grounded him and took away his internet access. It seems that wasn't enough. Those who were sued filed an anti-SLAPP motion under California's anti-SLAPP law (one of the strongest in the country), but the judges said that the text was not protected free speech and thus did not fall under the anti-SLAPP provisions. One of the kids, while admitting his own conduct was over the line, said he was just joking around, and trying to top others in responding to the website. The judges, clearly, did not find the joking to be funny. Indeed, it was not funny, but that doesn't mean you should lose your free speech rights.

One judge dissented and argued strongly that not only was this a mistake, but it would have serious First Amendment consequences: I share with the majority the view that R.R.'s post, like many that preceded and followed it, was vulgar, nasty, offensive, and disgusting. But, as Justice Harlan wrote in Cohen v. California... although --the immediate consequence of [free speech rights] may often appear to be only verbal tumult, discord, and even offensive utterance[,] . . . [w]e cannot lose sight of the fact that, in what otherwise might seem a trifling and annoying instance of individual distasteful abuse of a privilege, these fundamental societal values [of freedom of speech] are truly implicated.

In concluding that the post was not in connection with an issue of public interest, the majority fails to follow relevant precedent and ignores the substantial evidence that D.C. was a person in the public eye. The majority also creates a broad and groundless exception to the protections of the anti-SLAPP statute, holding that for purposes of the statute, jokes do not constitute communications in connection with issues of public interest.... That is not the law. It also notes that while the "threats" in questions did seem incredibly distasteful, in context with all the other comments, it seems obvious that they were not real threats: Reading the sequence of posts from beginning to end, no reasonable person would foresee that any of it would be taken as a serious threat of violence. No reasonable person would believe that (at least) four people were sincerely threatening to take D.C.'s life. Taken together, all of the posts amount to nothing but a lot of adolescent sex-obsessed hyperbolic derision, sarcasm, and repulsive foolishness In fact, the judge notes that the kid who set up the website didn't seem bothered by the comments, and was apparently more traumatized by his father filing this lawsuit. Maybe the kid should sue his father?

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Palm was delivered harsh criticism today as analysts downgraded the company following its poor fiscal performance. Canaccord Adams' Peter Misek maintained a "sell" opinion but called for a price target of $0 as he expected the company's situation would only get worse. He predicted a vicious circle that would see carriers and part producers back out with doubts about Palm's ability to stay in business, hurting its ability to sell devices even more....

There are only two weeks left until the iPad’s April 3 launch date, and Apple has just started reaching out to developers to say that they’re accepting applications that were developed specifically for the device. We’ve included the Email below. The key takeaway: If you’re looking to have your app available at launch, you need to submit it by March 27, at which point Apple’s team will let you know if your application is ready for the grand opening.

The first few weeks after the iPad is released will be a huge gold rush opportunity, as users look to try out the device’s large screen for the first time. In short, if you can make it to one of the App Store’s ‘top apps’ lists, you’ll likely do very well for yourself. The only problem is that the vast majority of developers have never had access to an actual iPad — they’re all working off of emulators, save for a handful of extremely lucky developers who literally have their iPads chained to a desk. Developers can tweak their applications all they want on their computer monitors, but until they’ve actually gotten to try it out for themselves, they’ll have a hard time figuring out if their apps feel right.

I expect most developers will scramble to submit what they have by March 27, and that we’ll then see numerous updates immediately afterward as developers tweak button placement and other interface elements. Some developers may choose to simply wait until they have a device in their hands so that they can try out their apps before submitting, but the App Store’s discoverability issues make this a risky move (of course, given the hundreds or thousands of applications that will launch alongside the iPad, there’s no guarantee that you’ll get noticed on launch day, either).

Keep in mind that users will also be able to use scaled-up versions of iPhone applications on their iPads. Given the choice, though, there’s little doubt they’ll choose a native iPad app over an iPhone app every time.

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Google Chrome's Incognito mode is a handy way to browse without leaving unwanted traces of your activitybehind. It comes with some minor sacrifices, of course -- your theme doesn't display and your extensions don't work, for example.

At least your extensions don't work for now.

Soon enough you'll have the ability to specify which extensions you want Google Chrome to allow while you browse Incognito. The change has landed in recent Chromium builds, and I have no doubt that we'll see this make the jump to Chrome's developer and beta channels fairly soon.

While it will be nice to have certain extensions available -- like LastPass (so I don't have to type in all my passwords) or ExtensionFM (so I can listen to my music library in the cloud) -- it's important to remember that some extensions may do things that you're trying to avoid during private browsing sessions. In fact, Chrome/Chromium will spawn an alert saying "Chromium cannot prevent this extension from recording your browsing data" when you place a check in the allow box.

For now, you'll need to download a build from the Chromium BuildBot stash to try this out. So far, so good. I haven't experienced any (additional) instability or crashing due to enabling a few extensions in Incognito mode. Share

Coming soon to Google Chrome: use your extensions in Incognito mode! originally appeared on Download Squad on Fri, 19 Mar 2010 14:01:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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· Kauto Star falls four out after a ragged ride
· Denman battles on to take second place

The miracle of this Gold Cup was that two great champions were dethroned and yet it still felt like a day of wonder for National Hunt racing. Ruby Walsh rode the fallen odds-on favourite, Kauto Star, back to the unsaddling enclosure from the scene of their tumble upright in the saddle, like a defiant cavalry officer, and Denman reached into his deepest store of energy to finish runner-up to Imperial Commander, who was cheered by an exultant crowd despite spoiling the romantic two‑horse script.

The Festival rose a level with Imperial Commander's seven-length victory at 7-1. So relentlessly dramatic was this 3¼-mile trial of the spirit that tens of thousands of spectators became part of the contest out on the track. Cheltenham crowds are often giddy and always appreciative but nobody could remember them being so consumed by the action with every jump. They gasped as Denman soared over fences and howled when Kauto Star crashed through the eighth and knocked the light out of himself before coming down four fences out.

In other sports Imperial Commander would have been greeted as an impostor who had ruined the decider between the winners of the last three Gold Cups. Instead there was a realisation that jump racing had erred by turning this occasion into a private duel between the two Paul Nicholls-trained big shots.

In the build-up the rest of the field had assumed the role of bit-part players. Imperial Commander was not the only contender to interject. Third home was last year's Grand National winner, Mon Mome, who rated barely a mention in the preamble. Plenty of shrewd punters were immune to this ballyhoo. As Imperial Commander passed the line under Paddy Brennan, damp copies of the Racing Post were tossed and hats flew like Frisbees. Some had noticed that the winner had been beaten by only a nose by Kauto Star in the Betfair Chase in November and was decent value at 7-1.

There is the theatre out on the track and then there is the betting, in which most punters were wiped out over the four days. If hope could take human form, it would have been driven away from the Cotswolds in an ambulance. The defeats of Master Minded in Wednesday's Queen Mother Champion Chase and Kauto Star and Denman were the biggest triumphs for bookmakers in a week when gamblers squealed for mercy.

So this was not a two-creature pageant but a test for the best of the National Hunt breed. For seven fences it was a masterclass of steeplechasing. But then Kauto Star exhibited the first signs of mental frailty since the bad old days when he would try to walk straight through fences late in races. Just as Walsh was doubtless starting to sniff his third Gold Cup win on Desert Orchid's successor as the nation's official horse, Kauto Star turned him into a rodeo rider, belting the top of the fence and almost jolting Ireland's champion out of the plate.

L'Extraterrestrial, as he was known in France, ploughed on but his confidence had evaporated. Denman, the darling of traditionalists, took up the stable's cause, jumping audaciously and barrelling into open country. The audience was entranced. Four fences out Kauto Star self-detonated, stepping in to the foot of the obstacle and sending himself over the birch in a somersaulting heap. As Walsh landed like a fly-half diving in for a try, he turned straightaway to check his partner was unharmed. Later, as Imperial Commander took the ovation, Walsh could be seen standing up in the saddle as Kauto Star's white noseband approached through the gloom.

This was how to come home vanquished: upright, proud. Kauto Star cantered back to the exit chute "as fresh as a daisy" in Walsh's plucky phrase. He was hardly that. But National Hunt racing folk do not make a tragedy out of a setback. Kauto Star had passed from invincibility to fallibility inside 10 minutes. His romping wins in last year's Gold Cup and December's King George VI Chase seemed an age ago. Like boxers steeplechasers never warn you the end is nigh. It was not the mistake at the eighth fence that pointed to his mortality so much as his inability to recover from it.

Denman, who could be trained for next year's Grand National, was transcending doubt and showing himself to be a great equine warrior from the old school. To achieve immortality here a horse needs more than one Gold Cup victory (he crushed Kauto Star to win two years ago) yet Denman has twice distinguished himself in defeat. This course jolts him back to life. His acolytes would say it is because he was bred for days like these. The heavy, saturnine mood that seems to afflict him at the Nicholls yard lifts and he attacks the Prestbury fences with joie de vivre. "That Denman, he never goes away, does he?" Brennan said.

Under Tony McCoy he was asked to make the final assault swinging for home but the sprightly, super-fit Imperial Commander was skipping along with him and accelerated up the hill to register a distinctly local triumph. Motor to a Cotswolds village called Guiting Power 12 miles away and you will find a pub called the Hollow Bottom, which feels like an extension of Cheltenham racecourse. It is also a shrine to Nigel Twiston-Davies, Imperial Commander's trainer, who has a share in the business and who said as he approached the winner's enclosure here: "This was a home win. We are where we belong."

Half an hour later Twiston-Davies's 18-year-old son Sam won the Foxhunter Chase on the stable's Baby Run, then their Pigeon Island took the last under Brennan. All leave would have been cancelled at the Hollow Bottom. "Paul Nicholls has done a wonderful job with his two horses but we need new ones coming through and ours is the best now," Twiston-Davies senior said of his champion. "I loved all the Kauto Star-Denman thing but I always thought we could beat them."

From a theoretically anticlimactic day the Racing For Change initiative had the perfect promotional DVD. This beat media training, decimal odds, simpler racecourse announcements and all the other ploys to get people to the track. It was the action speaking for itself. It was the purest sport.

• Cheltenham Gold Cup
• Kauto Star
• Denman
• Cheltenham festival
• Horse racing

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As SXSW Interactive comes to a close and SXSW Music kicks off, it's worth taking a look at the ideas, trends, discussions, and issues that dominated the four-day technology summit. Here are the five areas that stood out the most to me.

1. Conference Buzz

Every year there is a product or two that monopolizes most of the buzz -- for example, you couldn't go ten feet in 2008 without hearing a discussion about Twitter. For 2010, the buzzed-about phrase was without a doubt location-based services. Although the start of this discussion was in 2009, these mash-ups of geography and social technology really hit their stride this year.

Foursquare and Gowalla are the clear leaders in this space, as evidenced by the major presence enjoyed by both at the conference. Foursquare had a record 347,000 check-ins in one day this week, and the use of the service will certainly continue as the music crowd floods Austin.

The discussion I had with most people centered around the question, "What next?" As in: Now that these services are gaining momentum and adoption, where is the business model? Other than high-level brand partnerships and individual locations offering incentives for customers to check-in, few other monetization and call-to-action results have been seen. I see plenty of value in getting 10 percent off my order if I am the Foursquare mayor of a restaurant, or in allocating a big ad spend for a custom promotion, but where is the middle ground for everyone else?

But apart from that, you know you're hitting some level of critical mass when CNN chimes in on how to use Foursquare to be cool (or at least not uncool).

2. Data Tracking and Analysis Tools

In my 2009 wrap-up piece, I stated that 2010 would be the year of analytics. The data has been available for ages, but the tools to turn raw data into information -- and better yet, knowledge -- have finally found a strong value proposition. More and more products are emerging to monitor and analyze Twitter activity, social media trends, community management results, and overall impact and impressions.

Google Analytics is still a strong contender in the space, with almost everyone mentioning this as a core piece of the puzzle. Platform-specific tools such as Twitter Counter and bigger-picture services such as Radian6 were discussed at great length and examples were provided of their functionality.

The current Holy Grail of analytics (and I bet a buzz-topic at SXSW in 2011) is sentiment analysis -- not only knowing who is saying what how often, but getting a feel for the tone and meaning of what they are saying. Be on the lookout for more discussion and tools as time goes on. (MediaShift's Nick Mendoza looked at sentiment analysis related to the Oscars recently.)

3. Disappointing Panels & Keynotes

There is no lack of articles on the multiple disappointments around this year's panels and keynotes (start here and here). Spotify's Daniel Ek and Twitter's Evan Williams both brought in packed houses, but by the end of their talks the attendance was sparse and the content was thin.

As someone who speaks at and attends many tech and music conferences, I've seen my fair share of highly informative panels, and have had plenty of my time wasted. I wish I could report that SXSWi had a non-stop stream of amazing takeaways, but unfortunately it didn't go that way.

It's not for lack of relevant, forward-thinking topics. And it's certainly not for lack of amazing speakers who are getting big things done. In my experience, it comes down to two things: Having to cater to a very wide audience with varying skill levels, and only having a short time to address a long list of topics. The solution? Keep the panels focused on the core topic -- I'm talking to you, moderators -- and keep in mind that the audience can read theory on any blog; what they need are actionable takeaways.

The reason I left most panels disappointed was that I felt it was a missed opportunity. With such brilliant and accomplished panelists, I should have walked out of the room with a few action items I could implement immediately. This was very rare.

4. Skyrocketing Attendance

The attendance at this year's conference says something positive about the state of the tech industry. Last year's attendance was approximately 10,000; this year, there were over 15,000 badge holders. The feeling is very reminiscent of the mid-'90s in Seattle, when a new wave of technology and investment quickly expanded the marketplace.

What seems great for the industry -- a glut of big thinkers and tech geniuses -- is not as ideal for the conference itself. Getting into panels meant waiting in long lines and, often, only getting in when someone else left. The same thing happened at most industry parties, where the RSVPs far exceeded room capacity. It was a constant feeling up "hurry up and wait."

Fortunately, AT&T thought ahead and brought in an extra cell tower, providing massive bandwidth for what seemed to be the biggest concentration of iPhones on the planet. I can honestly say it was the best 3G coverage I've ever had.

5. Parallel Conferences

Something I noticed this year that I hadn't seen near as much in prior years was a number of parallel conferences, both perceived and actual. Depending on your interests and network, the conference experience tends to vary widely. In a single night you can find yourself in the middle of a raging party with young (and wealthy) tech entrepreneurs, a serious business dinner with corporate executives, and in a development workshop with programmers (that's their own unique type of party).

In addition, there were a number of side conferences, including fully off-site panels that almost felt like secret societies. Celebrity bloggers hosted workshops, independent organizations hosted roundtable discussions, and trade organizations fostered discussions focused on their interests. There was certainly something for everyone.

SXSW Music has now begun, and the tone of the conference has dramatically changed. Stay tuned for a report back on that experience...

Photo of Foursquare app by dpstyles via Flickr. Photo of attendee with Mr. Spam by Randy Stewart via Flickr. Photo of SXSW closing party logo by Fellowship of the Rich via Flickr

Jason Feinberg is Vice President, Direct To Consumer Marketing for Concord Music Group. He is responsible for digital and physical direct-to-fan solutions for CMG's frontline and massive catalog including the Fantasy and Stax labels.

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If you’re an iPhone OS developer who has been hard at work on getting an app ready in time for the lainch of the iPad, now is the time to start polishing it up if you want Apple to consider it for inclusion for the grand opening of the iPad section of the App Store. Basically, just log in to iTunes Connect, submit your app, and you’ll receive feedback on its readiness for the grand opening. We know, it’s difficult to fully debug an app when you don’t even have the actual hardware that you are developing for, so our guess is that Apple is running submitted code on actual iPads, and if things work nicely and the app is up to snuff, you’ll be in. You’ve got until 5:00 PM PDT on March 27th to submit your apps.

Oh, and in case there was any doubt, yes; the iPad App Store will open the same day that the iPad goes on sale. April 3rd can’t come fast enough.

Tags: app store, apple, ipad, ipad app store, ipad apps, iphone os,

Apple now accepting iPad app submissions for April 3rd grand opening originally appeared on Gear Live on Fri, March 19, 2010 - 3:00:35

When we were driving out of town I said, "I hate the corpses of empires, they stink as nothing else. They stink so badly that I cannot believe that even in life they were healthy." "I do not think you can convince mankind," said my husband, "that there is not a certain magnificence about a great empire in being." "Of course there is," I admitted, "but the hideousness outweighs the beauty. You are not, I hope, going to tell me that they impose law on lawless people. Empires live by the violation of law." (Rebecca West, from Black Lamb and Grey Falcon)

Strange week this week. All Marvel and Vertigo. And lots of sex. Weird. And yes, I'm aware the fourth issue of Daytripper came out last week. I didn't get it, for some reason. I should have it this weekend. Dang. Let's move on!

Avengers vs. Atlas #3 (of 4) ("Hulk Smash!"/"Hey, Venus!") by Jeff Parker (writer, "Hulk"), Paul Cornell (writer, "Venus"), Gabriel Hardman (artist, "Hulk"), Leonard Kirk (artist, "Venus"), Elizabeth Breitweiser (colorist, "Hulk"), Brad Anderson (colorist, "Venus"), Tom Orzechowski (letterer, "Hulk"), and Joe Sabino (letterer, "Venus"). $3.99, 30 pgs, FC, Marvel.

Everyone reading this should know what I'm going to rant about. When Thor transports the Avengers and the agents of Atlas to Norway, he says, "But I know of one place on Midgard I can bring us all to!" Sorry, Thor - it's TAKE!!!!! Seriously, poor "take." No one loves it. So sad.

I love how Parker casually makes Hank Pym a dick even when he's not really trying. When the old-school Avengers find out that Bruce Banner is the Hulk (because Venus sang to him and calmed him down, turning him back to Banner), Pym says, "That's Dr. Bruce Banner! He's maybe the top physicist in the world -- well, besides me ..." Ha! And Parker makes Tony Stark a bit of a wuss, too - Marvel Boy telepathically informs Pym about what's happening, and Stark says, "He could have put the knowledge in me ... I would have gotten it." If that's not enough, in the next panel, Stark looks down at himself and says to no one in particular, "I built this suit ..." Whenever a writer is clever enough to drop stuff like that into his fairly standard superhero team-up (which this is), I appreciate it, because it just humanizes them and makes it easier to deal with the wackiness of a team from the 1960s (or a decade ago, according to Pym) joining up with a team from the present thanks to some time anomaly. They all fight the Hulk, Bob figures out what's up, and everything is set up for the final showdown. It's good, clean fun!

In the back-up story, Cornell and Kirk bring us Venus, love advice columnist. It's pretty hilarious (see the panel of awesome below), as she answers questions from Hercules, Deadpool (which is particularly hilarious), I assume Jocasta, the Hulk, Norman Osborn (more hilarity!), Kitty Pryde, and Clint Barton. It's very dependent on knowing Marvel continuity (unsurprisingly), and the only one I didn't get was the letter from Miss Dean. Help me out, more knowledgeable readers! It's a fun little tale.

Sex in this comic? Hoo-boy, you bet. It stars Venus in both stories, for crying out loud! In the first, Venus has to sing to calm Bruce down, and two superheroes get caught in the sound wave. Macking commences! And in the second, well, Deadpool's letter is the highlight, and I won't spoil it.

One panel of awesome:

Oh, Hulk, no one understands you!

Fables #93 ("The Little Murder Part Two of Two") by Bill Willingham (writer), David Lapham (artist), Lee Loughridge (colorist), and Todd Klein (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC/Vertigo.

It's been two months since the last issue of Fables. Strange. Anyway, I always dig the short stories of this series because they seem to contain standalone stories, but Willingham always makes sure that things get tied into the main story later. In other words, I doubt we've seen the last of the some of these characters. The story itself is not great but not bad, as Ambrose needs to figure out a way to deal with the serious transgression from last issue in a way that doesn't rip his kingdom apart. He does it, of course, but there's still some restlessness among the subjects, and that can't be good. I do like the only witness for the defense - at first, I thought it was absolutely idiotic, but once John started expanding on his story, it made better sense. And hey - those people who wish to read political intent into writers' books can kind of have a field day here, as Willingham tackles the death penalty and the idea of culture leading to what some would call crime. I honestly don't care when writers inject their political beliefs into comics (if, indeed, that's what Willingham is doing here), because this issue, while not superb, does show how much difficulty Ambrose is going to have moving forward. That's what makes this such a neat series.

Sex in this comic? Definitely. Off-panel and after the issue ends, but oh yeah, someone's getting lucky!

One panel of awesome:

Won't someone think of the ... squirrel children!

Hercules: Fall of an Avenger #1 (of 2) (Hercules main story/"Greek Tragedy") by Greg Pak (writer, "Hercules"), Fred van Lente (writer, "Hercules"), Paul Tobin (writer, "Tragedy"), Ariel Olivetti (artist, "Hercules"), Reilly Brown (penciler, "Tragedy"), Jason Paz (inker, "Tragedy"), Wil Quintana (colorist, "Tragedy"), Simon Bowland (letterer, "Hercules"), and Joe Sabino (letterer, "Tragedy"). $3.99, 30 pgs, FC, Marvel.

There are a few writers that I simply will not read. I've read their stuff, disliked it enough to know it's kind of a pattern with them and not an anomaly, and won't try it again. There are some writers who I dislike so much that even if they hook up with a fantastic artist, it's not enough to get me to buy it. However, if I like the writer, usually I can take lousy art, because I'm much more interested in the writing in comics than the art. If the art doesn't make my eyes bleed and tells the story serviceably, I can deal with it. Very rarely will the art on a book I want to read by a writer I like keep me from buying it. Let me tell you, I had one of those moments on Wednesday, when I looked at this book and Ariel Olivetti's art.

I can't really put my finger on why I don't like Olivetti's art. I didn't always dislike it. A decade ago, when he was still drawing using heavy lines rather than whatever the hell he's doing now, it wasn't great art but it had a kind of mad energy to it. Then he started doing more and more delicate line work, it appears he's given up on inking, and I don't know what's going on with the coloring (an Irene Y. Lee is credited with "production" on this book; does she do the coloring or does Olivetti?). It's that faux-"realistic" look that, to me, is ridiculously static and, at times, downright creepy. It's kind of the same thing that Salvador Larocca has done in the past five years or so, with color washes that drains everything heavy from the page but makes the art far too ephemeral. It's not a good look. Olivetti is fine telling a story, but the art just repels me. But I bought this anyway, because I knew that Pak and Van Lente wouldn't let me down. And, heck, they didn't. Well, except for one brief exchange. I'll 'splain.

The premise of the book is that Amadues Cho and a bunch of heroes congregate at the Parthenon to honor Hercules. Amadeus is peeved at Athena and wants her to show up, but instead the heroes do. So they all tell stories about how groovy Hercules was. Thor talks about the time he and Herc had to outdrink a bunch of giants, while Namor tells them of the time Herc beat on him to get him out of a funk. (I wonder why Namor is wearing his new, "I'm so cool" outfit in his flashback when he's wearing his old-school, "I'm so cool I can look UNcool" underpants in the original comic. I mean, will people reading this comic be that confused that he ... changed his clothes?!?!?!?) These are not bad stories, and Thor's is quite funny. Then the babes show up, talking about how hot Herc was (it's true - they all say it!). Snowbird says that they all "lay" with him, then continues: "I know there are others in the crowd who should join us ... don't be shy." At which Northstar says, "Is that the time? Gotta go!" while Namor looks on, a question mark above his head. Ha ha, Jean-Paul had sex with Herc and he's embarrassed about it! Now, this bugged me. First of all, Herc is a god. And he's, you know, Greek. I always assumed he was kind of pansexual, so the idea of him having sex with men isn't that strange. Second, Northstar is (wait for it) gay. And everyone knows he's gay! Who cares if he had sex with Herc? It felt, to me, that Van Lente and Pak were saying that a gay man would be embarrassed that he had sex with a man, while the women aren't. This would have, actually, been a perfect opportunity for another Marvel hero to come out of the closet - the joke would have been funnier if Snowbird had said that and someone like Warren or Logan had shrugged and said, "Hey, it weren't no big thing." But it's weird that Northstar is embarrassed about it. This weird feeling continues on the next page, when Alflyse starts talking about her time with Herc (see the panel of awesome below). Wolverine and Fandral looked shocked. After she's done talking, Namor too looks shocked (and Thor looks like he's fondly remembering his own experiences with the Elven Tickler, which isn't too surprising, given that he's, you know, Thor). Logan is older than a century, and he knows how to get with the ladies. Fandral is a freakin' god. Namor, I suppose, is the most stuck-up of them, so him I can forgive. But the idea in mainstream comics, it seems, is that men like the sex as long as it's not too weird, while the women kind of tolerate the sex but certainly don't do anything wacky. Pak and Van Lente are subverting the second assumption, but reinforcing the first. Are you telling me Logan never got really weird with any of the seriously crazy women he hooked up with? Are you saying Fandral never did anything bizarre to mix things up after a thousand years of the missionary position? I've seen this attitude before in Marvel and DC comics, and it's a bit strange. If someone who looks like Alflyse starts talking about how much she enjoyed Herc's mastery of the Elven Tickler, I wouldn't looked shocked, I'd be breaking out the instruction manual to figure it out!

And then Athena shows up and tells Amadeus that he's the new leader of the Olympus group, which leads into next issue. And the back-up story has Venus and Namora going around telling people that Herc is dead. It's a clever idea by Tobin - apparently Herc invested money in stuff and then forgot about it, so he has all sorts of weird holdings all over the world, some of which have done very well for him (he was an early investor in Stark Industries, for instance). It's a nice little story that features a hydra. Which is never a bad thing to see.

Sex in this comic? See above. Plus, Venus get naked in a totally non-sexual situation (one of Herc's holdings was a nudist colony), and all the people who lived in homes that Herc owned happened to be women. I wonder why?

One panel of awesome:

I love Wolverine's expression!

Joe the Barbarian #3 (of ВосемБ) ("The Dying Boy") by Grant "Yes, this is just propaganda to get you to keep rats as pets, why do you ask?" Morrison (writer), Sean Murphy (artist), Dave Stewart (colorist), and Todd Klein (letterer). $2.99, 22 pgs, FC, DC/Vertigo.

Morrison unveils a few more secrets in this issue, as Joe is shown something that makes his journey through the strange world of more import than it already was, and a new adventurer joins the team. And of course, because it's a Grant Morrison comic, the very odd bad guys (well, I'm just going to assume they're bad guys; they could be kindly monks for all I know) are revealed at the end. There are typical Morrisonisms sprinkled throughout the dialogue, and it all moves along at a nice clip. Murphy remains the absolutely stunning star of the comic, though. The chase at the beginning of the issue is terrifically exciting, and when Joe and Jack arrive in Draka's town, Murphy gives us a full-page drawing that is simply gorgeous. When Joe collapses near the end of the issue, Murphy looks downward through his house, almost giving us vertigo. The book itself continues to get better, writing-wise, but Murphy's art is so staggering you almost don't need to read the text. That's so rare with a Morrison comic that it's almost unbelievable. But there it is!

Sex in this comic? It's about a boy in a fantasy land. Let's hope not!

One panel of awesome:

So portentous!!!!!

Marvel Boy: The Uranian #3 (of 3) ("Man of Two Worlds") by Jeff Parker (writer), Felix Ruiz (artist/letterer), and Val Staples (colorist). $3.99, 22 pgs + 18 pgs of 3 back-up stories, FC, Marvel.

This isn't a bad comic, and it looks great, but it does feel more like Parker is filling in the gaps of the characters from Agents of Atlas (or, I guess, Atlas) than telling a standalone story. He fleshed out some crucial points about Bob's past, namely his connection to Uranus and what his overlords really want (and if I call them "overlords," they can't be too benign, can they?), but this feels a bit trifling, as if it could have been told in a flashback in the regular series over the course of an issue or possibly two. Three issues is a bit much. I mean, we get to see a giant 1950s Marvel monster (see below), some nice parts about Bob's life, and a groovy mad scientist, but it still feels a bit too slight. Oh well. The art is fantastic, Parker's writing is fine as ever (even if the book itself is slight), and we get to see a bunch of reprints drawn by Bill Everett. If you're a fan of Jimmy Woo's team or Parker's writing, it's a fun book. For four bucks a pop, though, it's a bit steep.

Sex in this comic? Bob gets busy in a rocket with Violet. There's nothing better than zero-gravity sex! (Or, you know, so I'm told. By my astronaut friends. Of which I have many.)

One panel of awesome:

Jeff Parker + Felix Ruiz = awesome!

Spider-Woman #7 by Brian Michael Bendis (writer), Alex Maleev (artist), and Cory Petit (letterer). $3.99, 35 pgs, FC, Marvel.

Bendis writes at the end of this book that it's over, because it's way too much work for Maleev to do it, motion-comic style. Why they specifically had to do it motion-comic style isn't addressed, but apparently putting together a motion comic takes a lot more time and effort by the artist, and it was killing Maleev. KILLING HIM!!!!!! So they pulled the plug. Oh well.

I'm not that put out by it, because I was probably going to drop the book anyway after the first arc. I will defend the Bendis/Maleev Daredevil to anyone who tries to put it down (which, to be honest, isn't many people), but this just never got good. It had a nifty hook but Bendis simply didn't do anything with it, and in the end, he had to bring in the Avengers to bail Jessica out. This issue is just a big ol' dumb superhero fight with a few clever Bendisisms, but mostly, it's dumb. And Jessica is a total bitch. She's not a bitch in a charming, fucked-up way that Jessica Jones was in Alias, she's a bitch in a "Gosh, I really hope that Skrull kills her" way. She keeps calling the Asian girl "dumb" because she claims that her Skrull boyfriend is Spider-Man. Now, the way Maleev draws her, it seems like she's blind. Second, the Skrull is, you know, a shape-shifter, so even if she's not blind, he could look like Spider-Man. Jessica points out that Spider-Man "famously" lives in New York, but she's only been dating him three weeks, meaning he could be on vacation or something. So, um, Jessica? Shut the fuck up. As Abigail points out, your track record so far in this comic isn't great in the intelligence department, so if the girl from Madripoor believes she was dating Spider-Man, you're the last person in the world to call her dumb. And then, later, the Skrull tells her that the queen chose her form because "of all the people in the world ... we discovered that no one on this entire planet cares enough about you to notice you at all." Really, Skrull? Okay, from the way Jessica behaves in this comic, I see Skrull dude's point, but that's a bit extreme, isn't it? I mean, she has plenty of friends, after all. It's one of those things that sounds cool the first time you read it but then, once you think about it for more than a second, makes absolutely no sense. And then Wolverine tries to stab a shape-shifter to death. You'd think he'd know better.

So I would have ditched the book anyway, but now I don't have to. If you've been thinking about getting the trade, I'd skip it. Spend it on something, you know, good.

Sex in this comic? Not a bit. Jessica finds the Skrull in a strip club, though.

One panel of "awesome":

Really?

Vengeance of the Moon Knight #6 ("Shock and Awe Chapter 6") by Gregg Hurwitz (writer), Jerome Opeña (penciler), Jay Leisten (inker), Paul Mounts (colorist), and Joe Caramagna (letterer). $2.99, 23 pgs, FC, Marvel.

And now, Moon Knight And Me: A Love Story.

I have never made my love of Moon Knight a secret. I dig him. I love the whole multiple personalities thing, I love the whole weird network of operatives, I love the Doug Moench/Bill Sienkiewicz run with a love that is probably a little unhealthy, I love the Doug Moench/Kevin Nowlan run that followed it, I love the "Fist of Khonshu" series that followed that only lasted six issues and wasn't very good, I liked the 1990s series that also wasn't very good but lasted longer than any Moon Knight series ever, I loved the James Fry issues in the latter part of that run that were really bizarre eye candy, I loved the Stephen Platt issues that ended the run ... okay, that's a lie. I hated those issues. They're AWFUL. I loved the late 1990s mini-series that brought the character back from limbo, with Mark Texeira and then Tommy Lee Edwards on art. I loved the new series that launched a few years ago, which made our hero truly insane for, really, the first time (as much as Moench explored the idea of multiple personalities, you never got the sense that Moonie was all that crazy). And I loved the first few issues of this series, which returned Moon Knight to New York and brought back Bushman (okay, that wasn't too great an idea) and featured out of this world art by Opeña. I bought the first Moon Knight Essential volume because I didn't have the early appearances of the character. I'm going to buy the new hardcover of the Moench/Sienkiewicz collaborations before the first series launched even though I own some of them, because I love the character so much. I think that the first series is wildly underrated, as it was one of the first (if not the first) series to be released through the Direct Market, bypassing newstands and therefore allowing Moench and Sienkiewicz to tell more mature stories than mainstream comics before it. I think the character has a ton of potential that has been tapped a bit, but not enough. But that's just me.

So why am I explaining this? Well, as much as I dug what Hurwitz did in these first few issues (even though I didn't agree with bringing Bushman back and turning him into Bane), I thought this was a terrible way to end this arc and it makes me wonder if I will even buy the next arc. It makes me sad, but that's the way it is. In the first issue, it seemed as if Hurwitz was poking fun at the silliness of superheroes, but doing it subtly. I can deal with Moon Knight as satire, because it's an interesting take, especially as he's a bit, you know, out there. But as we got further into the arc, Hurwitz stopped doing that and this became much more of a straight-forward superhero comic. And I'm just not that interested in that anymore. I mean, Hurwitz brought Bushman back. So what? What happens to him? He ends up in an insane asylum. So what? Bushman's death was interesting because it pushed Moon Knight even further over the brink and set the stage for the previous series, which was excellent. Now he's back, and he's just another boring villain. Even in the mediocre 1990s series, he ruled a country, which added a bit of tension to his dealings with our hero. Now, he's dull. And we get another joke about Crawley getting hit on the head and changing his personality, back to what it was. This wasn't funny when it happened to Guy Gardner twenty years ago, and it's still not funny. I realize that I'm too close to the situation and I should be able to laugh at head injuries just like those uptight [insert ethnic group here] should be able to laugh at jokes at their expense, but it's not the fact that Crawley sustained a head injury and it changed his personality. It's that this book isn't a comedy, so tonally it was all wrong, and it's also that nobody seems to care. That's what bugged me when it happened to Guy - wouldn't someone think, "Hey, maybe we should check him out?" even if they liked his new personality more? Shouldn't Moon Knight have suggested that Crawley ought to get an MRI? It's too fraught with potential pitfalls to make it really funny, and Hurwitz didn't do(...)